Now

Someday I will quit smoking. Someday I will train my beasts to stop jumping. Someday I will deal with the totes brimming with family photos upstairs in my old office. Someday I will take vitamins as directed. No, that is probably not true at all. Maybe I won’t stop the leaping beasts either, but rather wait for age to slow them down. Yet the list of my somedays is actually pretty short, I no longer wait for the things that are important, I have wasted to many days already. My dreams are small, my bucket list relationship oriented with a heavy dose of travel to places that don’t include exotic beaches. My mind doesn’t often wander to SomedayLand, danger lurks there.

“Someday,” a progress pauser, a motivation masher, a perspective pincher, a word that floats us into a foggy future that forgets now. Someday may give hope but only with a wistfulness, a longing not backed by muscle or action, by goals or plans. Clinging to someday, when we win the lottery, our soul mate arrives, we have time for church, we  hand off the responsibility for the moment to the fates, the perfect way to miss today.  I know, I waited for my someday for entirely too long, gave up too much time, wallowed and sacrificed many days. My someday of my dreams never showed, instead I didn’t notice the flowers or the sky, I didn’t wonder about the lady at church who needed something I had. I didn’t take any pictures of my cats doing nothing hilariously. I missed out on my current day hovering about thinking wishing dreaming of my someday.

I’ve heard it said the opposite of faith is not doubt, not fear but certainty. Faith requires that we believe what we cannot understand, trust what we cannot see. Sureness means we can act without consultation, we need not consult other voices, we need not check ourselves. Becoming so confident is not a positive, pride and falls leave bruises. Assurance in anything, anyone other than our God sets us up for the “someday” thinking that ultimately leaves us clinging to scattered cards, our house having fallen with one good gust of wind.

Now, this moment, this time right here, the only promise we have have. If we give this back to God, ask for a consult, follow His directive in just this moment, we find our somedays of yesterday fall into place. We can’t leave the dishes for someday, the laundry won’t wait for someday, children can’t just eat dinner someday. Now, today, starting at this place, with obedience and thanksgiving for just this moment, we can begin. Without knowing what is next, with no concern for the lottery or the when the ship will come in, we can rest in our now. Looking back on our now, we will discover we have WON.

(Also, I have reached an agreement with my brother, brokered a deal if you will, to stop smoking. Seems my someday is now. Any prayers along for strength on this would be appreciated!)

Cling
Someday

2 thoughts on “Now

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